Sorry guys my day was pretty boring. I worked, but sounded like shit and couldn't stop coughing and sniffing. My 47 year old customer came and I told him how sick I felt and he mentioned that the whole cafe was closed the day before. You're telling me my mf dumbass boss closed the ENTIRE shop because I was sick?? He could've just ran coffees and cakes at the front and shut off the kitchen what an idiot!! Half of our regulars come for coffees and cakes! When I mentioned it was quiet, he tried to say that "Maybe because we had to close yesterday" as if it's my fault!? I WAS SICK!! It's not my fault he only employed me and expects me to be healthy and perfect 24/7 that's now how it works!! It was also so miserable and raining all day which probably added to the quietness, but I didn't mind as I was pretty sick. I didn't eat or drink much, called Tanny on my drive home, honked at someone who pulled out in front of me and finally got home. I immediately made myself the most delicious bacon BLT sandwich. I toasted 2 english muffins, added some lettuce, tomatoes, bacon and caesar sauce YUMMMM. I had that with a lime soda and absolutely demolished that shit whilst lemise showed me her pictures from Singapore. She got me this cute peanut jellycat and a sonny angel, but sadly the sonny angel wasn't the proper ones with a sticky tummy so I couldn't add it to my collection on my mirror. (I'll insert a photo when I remember to take one) Tanny and I continued calling, then Flynn and I called, then mum and I went to Costco and I got some delicious cinnamon scrolls and a hotdog mmmm. I fucked that shit up the minute I got home, mum put on her show and the actor and actress were kinda hot. I then played with Skye and her mouse stick toy that she's obsessed with and basically scrolled on TikTok for a while while my arm kept going funny (CURSE THIS STUPID NERVE ISSUE!!) I eventually got ready for bed, scrolled on FrenchTok and slept.

I've been pretty sick and at home for like the past 2 days. Also, I have been having a weird numbness in my arm that comes and goes and I woke up at 3am to it fully numb and I wasn't lying on it. I freaked tf out and called like an online 24/7 emergency service to make sure it wasn't a stroke (I have the biggest fear of a stroke) and this really nice lady picked up, asked me all sorts of questions and ruled out no stroke symptoms. I ended up needing to get an X-ray at the doctors, bare tits and all under a blue gown and now I'm waiting for my results. I slept like so much Saturday (10 hours I think) and then heaps yesterday. Sunday night, mum and I had this noodle takeaway it was so good, had the noodle boxes that are in those American shows/movies. I went to work Sunday but it's kind of a blur because my throat was annoying me, I had some nice conversations with customers like my IT friend who apparently also teaches ballroom dancing (Holy sidequest) and my 47 year old friend ;) I did all the floors which was exhausting as usual and Monday I called in sick because I felt like utter garbage. Dragged myself to the doctors for the X-ray around 3:30pm, watched the office all day and got a sneaky Maccas run with mum at night. Also my boss is so dumb bro, only has me employed so when I'm sick this mf closes the whole shop like dude it's not my fault you only employed one person and expect me to be healthy 100% of the time. smh. I also am gonna bullshit some emergency in 3 weeks for my weekend in Brisbane!! I'm so pumpedddd.

I am writing this 2 days after on the 28th. Wow, that night was something. Work was fine, I don't remember much... my 47 year old friend visited and ordered his breakfast combo that he pressured my boss to sell and I was dying of laughter. I found this old little lego fries thing that was unopened and started building it while watching YouTube. Maisie laid on me and I held her paw in my hand it was SO CUTEEE!! Mum went out early so I had a bit of fun... ;) and then I made myself a simple dinner which was some plain pasta with cheese, meatballs with greek yoghurt and an asian salad mum got from coles (IT WAS YUMMM). I then started getting ready for the night so I washed my hair, showered, started my makeup and blasted music. It was so damn foggy at night when I picked up my friend so she could come to mine first, I'll add a pic at the bottom. It looked so cool but was absolutely freezing (BRING BACK WARM NIGHTS!!) I ended up in some nice bell bottom jeans, my chic brown top, leopard print belt and some boot heels. We waited in a long ass line in the cold when we got there, but eventually got in. The music was BANGINNN and I immediately got a double chardonnay (dont know the spelling) wine and went to the dancefloor. The photographer took pics of us (gosh they better not nerf me) and then we danced. We smoked on the rooftop for a bit, chatted to some girls and then went to the lower level. OH...OH!! Before that, I ran into Imran.... I was so drunk and was like "wtf" and asked him how he's been after he recognised me and we danced a bit. (I couldn't think straight.) He left for a bit thank the lords and once scarlette abd I were downstairs, omg I saw this nerdy glasses guy with some fucking big tatted up arms and I pointed and did a hand signal for "wow." I still remember his face, he immediately grabbed my hand and danced with me but guys... OMG GUYS!!! His biceps were fucking huge and he put his hand around my neck as we danced, I kept squeezing his huge arms and my ovaries were fucking imploding. THEN MICHAEL JACKSON BEAT IT CAME ON AND I WAS IN MY ELEMENTTTTT, I was grinding against the mf and he was pushing himself against me UGH. It got so bad y'all, when the afrobeats came on I was feeling him up and his hands were grabbing the belt of my jeans holy shit and I was scared bc your girl hasnt shaved her lady in a while HAHA. Omg he was so hard, I was rubbing my hand up and down him, touching his abs and AHHHH!! I was so drunk that I don't remember what words were conversed but I gave scarlette my wine, said "this is my time to shine." and pulled the hot mf onto my lips. (My face lips don't be weird.) I think I didn't kiss well because I was pretty wasted but ughh then my friend wanted to go upstairs so I had to say goodbye to the hottie. He handed me 2 free drink cards but didn't ask for my number or snap which if a man doesn't, you shouldn't bc if he wants you he would've asked but still :(. Also I don't fuck strangers do idk what else I would've wanted with him. Lol when we went upstairs, I got stuck dancing with a short guy bc I chatted to him and he took me to his booth but eh whatever. Another guy was chatting me up when Imran grabbed my hand and pulled me into him, it was hilarious and the other guy got mad HAHA. Imran and I danced downstairs and yeah it was hot, but I didn't want to kiss him. Even drunk I knew I would've regretted it the next morning. BUT THEY PLAYED THRILLER BY MJ TOO OMGGG I WANNA GO BACK!! I said to him after as he walked me out "do you feel bad for what you made me do at 16?" even drunk I interrogated him and he apologised for it, but who knows if he meant it. We took an uber to Nerve and I was wasted af, uber driver was laughing. We got in, danced, I danced and kissed another hottie who had amazing style and chatted to a guy that was fucked off MDMA and ended up passing out on me. Another guy said he thought I was much older than 20 which hey, thanks babe ;) but nooo I'm young !! Had a fun convo with a guy outside who asked us to guess his name and I said Rojesh which made him shit himself with laughter. I think his name was Rowan or something idk. Anyways, passed out in my bed at home and slept in till 3pm x(.

Guys am I aesthetic? I had an iced matcha (perfomative final boss) and I drove all the way to Forest Hill at 7:30pm because I wanted smokes. I also made this like scrapbook/journal shit and journalled in French, am I that aesthetic?? I felt kinda sad that night too idek why.

I am writing this the day after on the 24th. I got ready for work as usual, it was really dark and really really cold. Work was no different, I made my boss his flat white but with skinny milk this time and started journalling. We had a few customers, I got to make a lot of takeaway coffees which I love and I as usual held myself together while my boss said something utterly stupid to me, and I pretended to agree. My 47 year old customer that always visits came in, but he said the coffee I made him tasted sour. I was worried and said that maybe his shot was under extracted but he claimed it was the milk. The milk was a day away from needing to be thrown out so I asked my boss's opinion and they had a bit of a scrap (back and forth talking). I made 2 matchas for these 2 construction girls and wondered where one of them was from, her English was okay and I could hear an accent. I think she speaks Spanish. We also introduced sultana cake and banana bread in the café. I don't remember much else, I finished work and then headed to Knox to meet a friend, complained on voice notes about my boss to Flynn and Scarlette. Anyways I met up with Mia at coffee club and I got a beautiful eggs benedict with tea, she got fish and chips. She told me about some drama she has with a friend and her boyfriend's friends and I kind of got the impression that she isn't a very mature person and I am not saying that to be mean but for example she says things like "my friend is kind of mad at me but I don't want to say anything in case she gets annoyed" or just speaking in a way that I would expect someone a little younger to. Just things that sound very like what 16 year old me would say. She's also one of those people who acts like she's having a 'sugar rush' or 'caffiene rush' from one sip of monster so you get it. I love her as a friend, she just hasn't been exposed to throughout her life so she hasn't 'grown up' a lot. Anyways we sat, munched and talked, then I headed back home through not too bad traffic. The sun was really yellow and pretty on the drive back. Oh, I also got a mouse toy for the cats and they loved it when I got home. I scrolled on tiktok for a while, mum was unwell and I had no energy so I just heated myself up a frozen meal. I was in the mood for a park, chat and smoke sesh so I messaged Scarlette but she said she wasn't in the mood. What annoyed me was the fact that she suggested frozen yoghurt even though every fucking time I've said I don't like frozen yoghurt. I never mention pancake parlour because I know she hates it. Plus I also said I didn't want to spend money last night. I tried to compromise and said what if we do YOMG and then the park? But she didn't want to. I felt upset because I feel like she doesn't do things if it's not EXACTLY what she wants or if it isn't convenient for her. She isn't a friend who would have my back if it inconvenienced her and I hate it. It makes me realise why I want to move to France and expand my life. She also has a variety of other things she does that I absolutely hate, one of them nearly ruined our friendship and it's this attitude she has with everything. Everything is an incovenience and she gets pissed off so easily, it's kind of draining. Anyways, I went into bed, called Flynn, then sobbed a bit because I guess I just feel alone sometimes, like no one is like me or understands me. And look, so an extent I don't care, but sometimes it hurts when those closest to you just don't understand. Anyways I journalled while crying, then got ready for bed.

I am writing this the day after on the 23rd. I struggled a bit to get up because it was absolutely freezing outside of my toasty, heated bed but I got up and got ready for work. Work was slow, some customers here and there, my coffees weren't fully up to par and I got an order of 10 takeaway coffees so I was SWEATING. I was switching between messaging Lachlan (overly sexual guy from the club), Dieseldog (random guy who added me, who I'm trolling) and my friend Flynn (history there) OH and my french friend. I made myself an iced matcha too and I actually quite liked it and drank it towards the end of my shift. My fav 47 year old customer didn't visit, but I had a woman visit who was telling me about how she is struggling to find a job and might need to ask her soon 18 year old daughter to help pay rent. I told her not to feel guilty, as I am almost 20 and my mum is going through the same thing and I think she needed that. (I think I made her latte too frothy too oops). I took a roll from work home, shoveled it down and went with mum to take the cats to the vet. We waited as their claws got clipped and their fur trimmed, then I relaxed at home for a bit. It was one of those nights where I was scrolling on TikTok until it got dark. I then called Flynn and we had a deep, but nice chat. Around 6:15pm, mum and I headed off to IKEA and got some dinner whilst I debated her about her religion (got nowhere) and as usual she doesn't listen to half the stuff I say, changes the topic and "hopes I find my way on my journey" (code for believe in God). Anyways, we looked at furniture, i got a cinnamon scroll on the way out and then we went back home. I ended up on a group call with Flynn and Scarlette, messaged Lachlan a bit more and then nodded off to bed.

I am writing this the day after on the 22nd but only because I want to type in my completed day & night, not just write about my day halfway through it. I was incredibly tired yesterday as I was out at Richmond bar hopping with my friend until I slept at 2:30am and had to wake up at 8am for work. The entire day I felt kinda sick, hungover and extremely fatigued. We weren't super busy, I had a customer come in like first thing when we opened and we had a nice conversation because he works in IT and I used to study IT. I told him about this website I've been coding and my love for old tech which was nice. All the coffees I made yesterday were so pretty and the perfect froth to milk ratio. I was texting this man (I met at one of the bar's) yesterday and he was incredibly sexual when we met, so I've been kinda trolling him. I practiced a little bit of french yesterday as I was so tired, didn't eat lunch and made myself toasted english muffins with cream cheese, avo, sliced tomatoes and a side of meatballs the minute I got home. After I polished that off, I immediately got into my toasty bed, scrolled TikTok and fell asleep for 2 hours. I always feel strange when I wake up from a nap... so I woke up feeling strange. I ate 2 wraps for dinner, watched some deleted+reuploaded Songbyrd videos and then I watched a few podcast/video essays. I love those YouTube videos where it's either 2 minutes-30 minutes long and just someone sitting in front of the camera, ranting about a simple topic from their POV like the point of life, how their life is, their opinions on things etc. I landed on this guy I used to watch who just smokes or drinks and chats to the camera. After that, I found this French YouTuber's channel who is close to my age, travels around France in a van and vlogs it and I loved the simplicity of it. Plus, it gives me more listening exposure to French. I redid my lash extensions, cleaned up my room and then went to bed.

I am writing this 2 days after because my memory decided to kick in. I was supposed to wake up at 7am, but ended up awake at 7:30. It was absolutely freezing, but I got through it, washed my hair, showered, cleaned my teeth etc and got ready for my big day. I ended up out the door at 8:30am and went past Ringwood Maccas for an iced mocha and a muffin, then I ate it on the road as I entered the freeway. I was blasting music, great vibes, great mood and very focused of course. It was shitty weather though and was raining off and on with some fog so I had to keep my lights on. Anyways, after a long drive on the freeways/tollways/open-roads, the country came into view and it was absolutely beautiful. Green rolling mountains, fir trees and also autumn coloured trees, the sun shining through the clouds. I literally said "wow" as I drove through it. I was in Leongatha after 1.5 hours and pulled up next to Rachel's house. We said our hello's, I got a tour of her and Hudson's house and we chatted and chatted. We ended up at a cute café where I got french toast+bacon and tea, she got chips and a frappe. Had our usual chats, religion, patriarchy, sexism, world views, philosophy etc but one thing that meant a lot was when she said "I have watched you grow into the woman you are now and I'm very proud of you" (She's 2 years older than me) which was really sweet. It was raining a bit but we headed off to the farm she used to work at, I was stunned at the beauty of the country. Once we pulled into the dairy farm, she showed me how the cows get milked which was so cool because it's all automatic machines and the cows just know what to do! I got some up close photos, saw some cows hump each other and saw a cute Dutch man that worked there. We then got into a little buggy (a very dirty one) and she took us all through the farm, it was very bumpy and very foggy but I loved it. I felt a sort of peace, just sitting there watching the fields and cows go by. I also saw some barn cats which were so cute! After that we drove on a trail, had some sponge cake at hers and then I headed home. Drive back was a nightmare as it was dark, raining heavily, felt my tyres skid on the road way too many times and I missed 2 turns. Anyways, I went past my grandparents as she got me halva (I LOVE IT) and I had some soup whilst chatting to them. I nearly smacked into the curb on my way home, sat on my bedroom floor, felt tired and felt like crying so I did. (For no particular reason). I forgot I agreed to go out with my friend that night so I got dressed pretty sexy (knee high boots, leather shorts, cleavage showing top and showed my tattoo off). I had work the next day so not a late night, we hit up Richmond and A LOT happened as usual. Got drunk, smoked a lot, chatted to so many people. One guy was just overly sexual but I am horny af (have been abstinent 9 months) so I dirty talked in his ear HAHA and rubbed up on him. Chatted to the DJ, headed to the rooftop (got told off for smoking) sat with a group of guys 22-25, one of them asked why scarlette was so stand off-ish and how she seemed repulsed (She does not know how to talk to guys) and he even thought she was 17 at one point because of how strange she was acting! We ended up downstairs again, I chatted to a guy who was from Bangladesh and learnt English solely from anime (WHAT) and his English was phenominal!! The other guy spoke spanish and I taught them some French. After, we were stuck at the station for 30 minutes so we ended up chatting to this small group of people, one of which was half French so we spoke some basic French for a bit. Talked about my travels with so many people, they talked about theirs (YAY OUR GEN IS TRAVELLING A LOT!!) and then eventually made our way home. Scarlette got pissed at me on the train which ruined my mood... (I told her ghosting a guy was a cowardly thing to do and she complained that I was the one who wanted us to meet up with him... long story) But wow, that was my day.